Friday, October 28, 2016

Breaking through the Chains

Come, Holy Spirit, I need you
Come, sweet Spirit, I pray
Come in your strength and your power
Come in your own gentle way 
           ~ Heritage Singers, Come Holy Spirit Lyrics 1st verse

What a beautiful song this is. What a beautiful prayer. And as the time approached for me to share my testimony for the first time publicly speaking to the crowd all I could do was focus on God. Ask for His help and strength. Ask for Him to use me to do His work. And ask the Holy Spirit to come to me.

The O'ahu 40 Days for Life rally was amazing in so many ways but even with the wonderful support on that sidewalk, I was still more nervous than anything to speak. I had my speech ready. I practiced it and cried every time. I didn't want to fall apart. I wanted to share my story with the hope that maybe one day, one person will be saved in one way or another. I may never see the fruits of my labor and that is okay. I will still persevere and push forward for God.

I was one of the final speakers at the rally and headed up to tell my story. I had to take a deep breath and center myself. I introduced myself and began reading my speech and then it moved to the hard part. My story. I quickly lost my place on the paper as my hand shook and reading in the dim evening light is tough but the thing is, I knew my story. It is my story.

I crumbled the paper in my hand and continued forth telling my story. It wasn't exactly as I wrote it or prepared but it was my story. It was probably one of the hardest things I had to do in my life but it was also one of the most amazing. To be able to tell my story and make it to the end without crumbling down. To do the scariest thing ever. To be so vulnerable full of fear and to look out and see a sea of eyes of compassion and love with a swirl of some understanding.

I messed up my final line but my 8 year old daughter assured me, everyone knew exactly what I meant. I REFUSE to be silent. I will be silent no more.

God blessed me that night. He blessed me with my family being with me along with friends. He blessed me with beautiful hugs of support and encouragement to keep on talking. He reinforced that I am to tell my story and he helped me break through the next layer of chains that have been holding me back. I felt another load of bricks come off my shoulders and trust me, that is wonderful. Finding your voice is wonderful. Public testimony is wonderful. Healing and forgivenes is real and is there for all those who need it. And if you need help or someone to talk to you, I am here for you.

And here's my speech and please be kind and understanding, my 8 year old taped it and her arms were getting tired.