I read a wonderful thing the other day about regret. In a nutshell, it said regret is the devil's work to keep you from finding the peace and joy that you deserve. Regret is a stumbling block to forgiving yourself and leaves you thinking more negative thoughts about yourself than you deserve.
Does this sound about right to you? Do you struggle with regret? Is it holding you back from living a life of joy?
It totally hit me very close to home as I had been reviewing my prayer journal that I started at the end of December. There are so many prayers saying how very sorry I am that I had an abortion. That I regret that choice. That I wish I was stronger and chose better. That I will carry the cross of my regret and do good. All good intentions but in all reality, as much as I was saying in one way that I have finally forgiven myself I was still holding onto regret and thinking about how weak I was. How wrong I was. How badly I messed up. Do you think our loving God wants us carrying that negativity each and every day?
I don't but I also know I need help in this battle in life. I need to ask Jesus to help me, to help me carry my cross in life, but to do it without tearing myself down with negative self talk. How can I love others and be merciful when I am so hard on myself? In a nutshell, I can't and neither can you if you are tearing yourself down with negative self talk and regret.
God loves all of us and like the prodigal son, He is waiting to welcome us home and celebrate. I am not saying life will be problem free. He never promised us that. I am not saying I won't be held accountable for my sins. I expect to be and in all reality, I think I may be harder on myself that God would be. He is much better at extending mercy than I am! I am working on that.
I want to be more like Jesus. I want to be loving, merciful, and reaching out to those in need. I want to see the "unseen" and bring joy into their day.
Thank you for today and your mercy and healing. Thank you for blessing me and I pray that you bring healing to all post-abortive mom and for an end to abortion. Help me to see those in need so I can help them. Help me to be more merciful to others and to myself.
In Jesus' name I pray,