This article was originally published on August 14, 2015 in the Hawaii Catholic Herald. The original source is HERE.
When I first heard about the content of the videos about Planned
Parenthood selling baby parts my heart sunk into the pit of my stomach. I
was horrified at the thoughts and all the wounds of my past abortion
surfaced at once. I wanted to run and hide. I couldn’t face the videos.
But through God’s grace and inspiration from Immaculate Heart Radio I
knew I had to face them, view them, and understand what was happening.
The interviews and images were gut-wrenching. I was immediately sick
to my stomach on the verge of throwing up. The feeling hung with me and I
couldn’t shake the horror. I prayed that nothing like that happened to
my precious lost soul. I prayed to my child in heaven, pleading once
again for forgiveness. I prayed that all those impacted by abortion
would find the strength to endure this challenging horror.
In all reality, if I hadn’t attended Rachel’s Vineyard (a
post-abortion reconciliation retreat) this past May, I don’t think I
could have survived this news and go forward, even if going forward
meant no longer putting on mascara as I found myself crying many times
throughout the day. I found strength in realizing God’s timing is
perfect and he extended his healing grace to me prior to this
However, even with his grace I have felt an increase in irritability
and annoyance that no one who knows my story has reached out to me to
lend support, to ask how I am, to give me a hug. No one around me is
talking about these disturbing videos and I wonder how that is possible.
The silence is deafening and I can’t remove the horror of babies being
ripped apart and sold piece by piece. It scares me that this is okay in
this time and age. I am devastated but strong.
But I also know not everyone is as lucky as I am. There are women
hurting and I am certain many do not know where to go for help, don’t
forgive themselves, and need our help and prayers. I pray for them
daily, have started prayer circles, and have broken my silence and am
taking a more active pro-life role. I refuse to be silent anymore.