Wednesday, August 26, 2015

The victims of abortion - try a fair case

The unborn child isn't the only victim of abortion, the mom also suffers. I have heard and read so many stories that mid-procedure, right after, or even years later the mom realizes that what she did was wrong. That the unborn was indeed a baby. That the child's life mattered and was ended out of perceived convenience or the ideal of a better life for the child. But in all reality, no life is not better than life. Abortion is murder.

We are surrounded by propaganda. It is the women's choice. If she chose to abort, it is not murder but I ask, what about late term abortions? What about the child that is indeed born before being "aborted"? Isn't this murder? Isn't murder wrong? I even blatantly asked someone if murder was wrong and the answer left me dumbfounded....depends. Huh? The responder then tried to say it was the woman's choice so a late-term abortion that ended life after birth was dare I say it...okay. Granted he didn't say it was okay but kept saying it was the mom's choice.

Okay, when does this right to choose end? At what point is murder wrong?

Add to that the pin I saw just the other day, "If you don't believe in abortion, don't have one." Okay, seems simplistic enough but let's go back to those women I mentioned before. The ones where the proverbial light bulb went off that hey, abortion is wrong. Abortion is murder. This she made the worse choice ever and will regret it forever. Am I going to stand by silent and say nothing? No way! I love everyone too much to not care.

Abortion is wrong and I want to be that voice bringing the truth out there. Don't see things my way? Okay but at least have enough decency to look at the evidence presented in the videos about Planned Parenthood. Look at who Planned Parenthood supports with awards or campaign funding and ask yourself, is this a fair trial of evidence? Is it being presented to us in an unbiased manner? Are you being misled and lied to? Don't you want to be able to make your own decision and have the right to believe what you believe?

I do. So play along with me for a minute. Let's envision this story as a court case. Planned Parenthood can be replaced Murder Suspect A. Abortion is Murder Victim B. Forget we are talking about abortion and a large corporation and look at things this way.

MURDER TRIAL:
Murder Suspect A enters the trial court on charges of murdering Murder Victim B. There are 12 jurors and some of them are on the payroll of Murder Suspect A's lawyer. Murder Victim B's lawyer presents his evidence...video evidence. Some of the jurors decide to not view the video. They leave the courtroom. Later they enter the jury room and decide there wasn't enough evidence to convict Murder Suspect A. Murder Suspect A is found not guilty and released back into the community.

What would your thoughts be on this trial? Would you be okay that the lawyer for the murder suspect was paying the jurors? Would you be okay that the jurors didn't all review the evidence being presented? If you were the judge, would you allow this to happen? If you were in the community, would you be happy that the suspect was released? If you were family of the murder victim, would you feel that justice was done?

But that is what is happening with Planned Parenthood. Senators have received campaign funds from Planned Parenthood. Journalists receive awards and support from Planned Parenthood. Not all the senators viewed the Planned Parenthood videos before voting not to defund Planned Parenthood. You are not hearing this on many news networks. The news you are receiving is in some ways being censored. Money talks....or should I say, money stops the talk. Are you okay with this?

I'm not. I am angry. My heart goes out to the post-abortive moms who are hearing or seeing these terrible videos and all the old wounds are being torn open. They are hurting beyond belief. The unborn are crying out to be saved. Don't tell me it is okay to choose murder. Don't tell me it is a women's right. Don't tell me that Planned Parenthood does so much good and that I should overlook this horror. It is NOT okay.

Dear God,

We are walking through dark times. Be with us. Please extend your healing grace to those suffering from abortion. May your message go out to those who still support abortion - may they change their ways and feel your healing grace. I pray for the unborn that they are kept safe. I pray those with unexpected pregnancies have the strength to choose life. I pray that our angels in heaven who were aborted continue to pray for us. I pray those who you call to do your work to take a stand against abortion - may they feel your strength and continue to do your work.

In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen 

Sources:
Planned Parenthood Campaign Finance
Planned Parenthood Spending
Democrats Who Blocked Bill to Defund Planned Parenthood Admit They Haven't Watched Undercover Videos

Monday, August 24, 2015

Abortions can strain or ruin relationships

My marriage is struggling. It is a difficult marriage. I am not writing this to be cruel or to air dirty laundry but to bring awareness on how abortion has negative everlasting impacts. Impacts that are clouded over in the "womens' rights" and "it's her body" dialogue. Yes, women do have rights. The right to know the FULL truth, not the edited mainstream view that makes it sound like you are harming women by standing up and saying abortion is wrong.

First, let is be known I got involved with my husband years after my abortion and in some ways, he was my saving grace and helped me to begin to love myself again. He made me feel special. He listened to me. I felt the walls around my heart melting and felt loved unconditionally until....things changed. Or perhaps they didn't.

Love is a funny thing. In the beginning it is all rose-colored and happy but eventually the walls do come down fully and you are standing there exposed with all your insecurities, weaknesses, and regrets in plain sight. And over time, words stated in anger or frustration can linger and grow into a pestilent waste. Through loving communication and determination this doesn't have to be the case but that is the problem. Abortion hurts. Abortion can damage healthy communication.

Abortion can impact ALL relationships - parental, spouse, that with siblings, children, etc. for years to come. 40-75% of marriages end after abortion due to the breakdown of intimacy and trust. The woman's feelings of anger, guilt, depression, and/or being let down by her partner can negatively impact communication and sexual function. This can lead to more conflict and less trust in a relationship. The suppression of mourning can do more harm than good and the woman may have a hard time bonding with children later in life or bond more tightly to make-up for the lost child. (oh how I understand that second part!) Let's not even get into how abortion can impact surviving children. They too have a burden to carry.

Abortion is traumatic and yes, post-abortive moms can suffer from post traumatic stress syndrome. Symptoms a woman may face are guilt, anxiety, numbness, depression, flashbacks, and/or suicidal thoughts.

Back to my marriage. Even though my husband isn't the partner who let me down I feel being let down by a male has set me up to believe that I will always be let down by males. Add to it my feelings of guilt and inadequacy and desire to feel loved and good and my poor husband has high standards to live up to. Standards too high for any human. I realize this weakness and fault of mine and try to be less needy and more giving but sometimes life happens, the scars get ripped open, and getting through the day in one piece is enough of a challenge.

Case in point. The Planned Parenthood videos.

Thank God my husband and I got our marriage validated and I felt being on the right path with God would help us overcome the hurt in our marriage. I would do things God's way and our relationship could start healing but I wasn't prepared for Planned Parenthood. I wasn't prepared for past scars to be ripped open and to feel so much agony and pain. I wasn't prepare to wrap my brain around babies being dismantled and sold piece by piece. I wasn't prepared to comprehend how on earth someone can cut into a moving child to harvest that precious brain. I wanted to yell from the mountaintops that all of this was wrong. I was baffled how people were grumbling over the little stuff in life when all of this was happening. I was suffering and getting annoyed and reaching out to dear hubby for love and understanding, a reassuring hug, some compassion but communication flop. He saw a needy, depressed wife, and questioned if God was good and probably felt utterly helpless (just my thoughts on how he felt). Logically I realized this but I wonder how we will move beyond the years of hurt, create healthy communication, and discover the rosier side of life.

He is carrying the burden of my scars along with me and that can make me feel equally guilty. I can't go back and undue the wrong but I can push forward and stand up against abortion. I will no longer let guilt and shame force me to be silent. I will take the challenges in life, even the ones my husband tosses at me, and grow from them. After all, it was his challenge to me to support my beliefs that spurred me to start this blog. I will stand up and say abortion is wrong, abortion hurts, abortion kills.

Dear God,

The world is hurting and needs your healing grace. I pray all those hurt by abortion feel your loving forgiveness and find the courage to be silent no more. I pray all those performing or supporting abortions are able to open their hearts, change their ways, and protect our young from harm. I pray those considering abortion can learn from my pain and realize whatever they fear pales in comparison to the damage of abortion. I pray they choose life.  I pray our country's leaders find your strength in them so that they can stand up for our nation and guide us along a path of growth and healing that recognizes that ALL lives matter.

In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen

Sources:
Abortion and Interpersonal Relationships
Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

An open letter to those considering abortion

My dearest child,

I am so glad you are here reading this. That gives me hope. Hope that your mind is still open and hope that your heart will lead you to choosing life.

I know for many finding out they are pregnant is a joy-filled moment but we both know (you and I) that feeling joy isn't always the case. As soon as you find out you are pregnant you can be filled with worry, fear, anguish, and a host of other not-so-good feelings. That is okay darling. It is okay to be scared but please, don't make a decision based on fear and please don't be forced into making the choice to have an abortion by someone else. The rhetoric that you can choose, that it is your right, and that it can make your life better is all wrong. Darling, an abortion is traumatic and anything you fear right now pales in comparison to the devastation abortion can have on your life.

I get it. You might be thinking I can't be a mom. I don't or won't have a job. I don't or won't have insurance. I don't or won't have anyone to help me. I can't do this. But darling, you can. Have faith. That little baby in you is a blessing even if you don't see it right now. It may not be a blessing you raise into adulthood. It could be the blessing you give to another couple yearning to have a child so badly, praying for the day they can adopt and hug an innocent life, and willing to help you out.

I get it. Going through an unwanted pregnancy and perhaps telling your parents if you are a minor can be scary. There are loved ones all around you wanting to help you. Go to them. Reach out. It is okay to be vulnerable because God will be there with you. You are not alone and never will be alone.

I get it. I don't know your story. You may be thinking that right now. Your problems and worries seem bigger than anything I am referring to. You are thinking, nope, there is no hope. I have no help but darling, you do. I am not promising an easy road. I am not promising no hiccups or speed bumps or roadblocks. If only I could wave a magic wand and make it all perfectly peaceful for you, I would. But I am telling you this....at the end of the day when all is said and done, you will feel better for choosing life over choosing abortion. Choosing not to kill is always better. You will sleep better. You will live better. You will be happier. Yes, if you give your baby up for adoption you may miss that child and yearn for him or her. But I am blessed to be able to talk to my birth mom. We have that now. Abortion is final. No going back. Please, choose life.

Dear God,

My thoughts and prayers go out to the precious soul reading this letter right now. I understand she may be contemplating abortion. Please let her find your strength within her, guide her to the help she needs in order to choose life. May she feel your comfort and love.

In Jesus' name I pray.

Amen

Pregnant and need help? Some places you can go...
Your local church
Silent No More
Lifecall
Maggie's Place

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Yes, I believe Roe vs Wade should be overturned

Let me open this post with a prayer as I know that some post abortive mothers may have a hard time reading this. My heart goes out to you.

Dear God, 

Please forgive us all. I pray that all unborn babies are kept safe, that the aborted babies in Heaven forgive us and pray for us, and that all those impacted by abortion feel Your healing grace. God, I give myself to You to do Your work. Please, guide me and help me to quiet my mind so I can hear Your word. 

In Jesus' name I pray,

Amen


I was asked the other day if I felt Roe vs Wade should be overturned. Yes. I do.

Roe vs Wade (1973) ruled a state law banning abortions except to save the life of the mother unconstitutional. The states were not to outlaw or regulate any aspect of abortion. You can read more about the ruling HERE.

If you look back on the history of our planet I think you will recognize that there are been many laws and rulings that just weren't or aren't right or just. Roe vs Wade is one of them. I know the Supreme Court ruled 7:2 but in all reality, they made a mistake. It it isn't the first one in our history. Here are some other things that were not right or just that have changed over time. Women weren't allowed to vote. Blacks were slaves. Blacks couldn't vote. Blacks were segregated. I know you may be thinking that true, but the legal things made these mistakes better. Isn't Roe vs Wade the same? It gave women their rights? Nope. Giving a women the right to commit murder isn't right and I hate to break it to you, abortion is murder. Don't try to sugarcoat it. Face the truth. It is wrong. Abortion should be made illegal. Period.

But what about rape or incest? My heart goes out to the women who are victims of rape or incest regardless of whether or not they get pregnant. What a burden they have to carry. But I ask you this -- is it in their best interest to add a burden on top of that? Why suffer the trauma of rape or incest only to add on the trauma of abortion? These women need better care and support from us. Why not rally and get support groups for these women, wrap them in our love, children can be adopted, and at the end of it all...they will know through all their suffering they gave a child to a couple who truly wanted one.

What if the mother's life is at risk? I say leave this to the mother, the father, the doctors, and her spiritual leaders. As a pro life advocate and Catholic, I value ALL life -- the baby's and the mother's. I don't think there is a one size fits all answer to this. I think of those who have had limbs amputated, etc. Those decisions were made from a medical perspective but I feel this one needs to add in the spiritual perspective too. But saying abortion is legal for all because the mom's life can be at risk someday seems foolish to me. Remember, before Roe vs Wade a woman could have an abortion to save her life. This didn't change because of Roe vs Wade. Roe vs Wade should be overturned.

Still not convinced? What about Hitler and the Holocaust? In Hitler's vision to unite Germany he envisioned all Jews as the enemy and in 1935 the Nuremberg Laws were passed. You know how that story ends but look, here are laws enacted that weren't right or just and guess what? We stood up against them and made a change.You can read more about Hitler HERE.

Join me in standing up for human rights....all human rights...regardless of age, race, born or unborn. ALL life matters.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

The emotional side of abortion

It what appears a blink of an eye post abortive woman can change drastically. Some feel the devastation immediately, some later, but in all reality, the devastation is there whether or not they are ready or able to see it.

There are so many levels of hurt but today I want to focus on some of the emotional wounds.

Below are a list of feelings that may be felt. Please note, these emotions are listed in no particular order.
  • Emptiness
  • Depression
  • Lack of self worth
  • Shame
  • Fear of speaking up
  • Fear of being judged
  • Loss of spiritual connection
  • Loss of purpose/will to live
  • Guilt
  • Closed heart - unable to be intimate or trust others
  • Anger
  • Condemnation
  • Regret
  • Weakness
  • Betrayal 

If you are feeling any one of these emotions, or others, trust me, you are not alone. There is help. You can find joy again in life. You are loved and worthy.

Hail Mary, full of grace, our Lord be with thee. Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Friday, August 7, 2015

An open letter to post-abortive moms

My dearest darling,

First, I want to thank you for being here reading this letter. That took a lot of strength and courage on your part. You may not feel healed or strong but you are on the right path.

Second, I want you to know many of the things you feel in your life may be linked back to the abortion. I am not saying this to make you feel bad. Trust me, you feel bad enough. You don't need to feel worse. I say it to give you hope. You are not alone and there are explanations, answers, and healing but I will get into all those nitty, gritty details another day.  Today is about telling you that you are not alone and there are people...lots of them...who care and want to help you.

Third, help is out there. I will list some options for you at the end of this note.

Fourth, it is time to forgive yourself and heal. God loves you and is waiting to wrap you in His healing grace. You don't feel close to God? That is okay. He still loves you and is waiting to forgive you. You already made amends with God and expressed your repentance? That is great! Now it gets hard...you need to forgive yourself. Yes, that is the harder part as we are so tough on ourselves but look at it this way --- if God can forgive us who are we to say we can't forgive ourselves?

And as promised, here are some places you can go to for help:

Rachel's Vineyard: Here you can find a focused weekend retreat where you are surrounded by those who care and understand. It is Catholic based but you do not need to be Catholic to attend. If you have the chance to get away from your daily grind for a weekend to focus on yourself I would strongly recommend this.

Project Rachel: This is a great resource for healing yourself and even provides tips for talking to someone who has had an abortion. It is a great resource for more information, prayers, support, etc. Check it out.

Silent No More: Head here to take a stand and be silent no more even if it is just by beginning to read testimonies from others who have suffered abortion. You have the chance to find healing, tell your story, find a resource for men and abortion (yes, they suffer too), and it has a special segment for those who are pregnant and scared. Darling, if that is you please, check out the site, turn to someone for help, and say yes to life. Read the stories of grief and pain after abortion and learn from that loss.

Thank you again for stopping by and reading this. You are strong, courageous, and loved. I will pray for you, please pray for me.

God bless you.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Planned Parenthood - I am angry

Let me introduce myself. I am pro-life but wasn't always so. I fell for the lies that women had a choice to make decisions for their betterment but trust me, abortion is not a choice that improves your life. It is destructive almost beyond repair and I am saying almost only because by God's grace healing can be felt and He is working in my life to give me the courage to speak my mind. Yes, I am a God-loving, pro-life, Catholic woman that refuses to be silent anymore (this website may be of use to some of you). I will no longer just be mad about the lies but will stand up and say something.

The videos coming out about Planned Parenthood made me physically sick. I wondered how I didn't throw up many times as my heart was crushing from pain and tears running down my cheeks but for the most part, the world was silent. I could have red puffy eyes and the world was silent. No one wants to face pain or horror but in all reality, sometimes we need to face it as it represents the truth.

I am furious beyond belief that it was acceptable that Congress could vote whether to keep funding or defund Planned Parenthood WITHOUT every Senator watching the videos. Can you imagine the outcry if there was a murder trial and some of the jury didn't see the evidence being presented? We wouldn't stand for that. We wouldn't. Why is this acceptable? They are voting on something that impacts this entire country but can avoid looking at the evidence being presented? A jury must see the presented evidence and decides whether or not to accept the evidence. Why not Congress?

But through all this anger one thing keeps coming back to me and that is my prayers for those affected by abortion. This could be tearing them apart and I want to wrap all those hurting moms in my arms and give them a huge virtual hug and let them know they are loved. They can find healing and forgiveness. There is life after abortion that is worth living. The bad can be turned into good. Don't despair or hate yourself. You are loved from the time you were conceived and will be every moment of your life and beyond.

Dear God, 

Please protect and look after our unborn children, let those impacted by abortion feel Your healing grace, and heal this country. Guide us and the leaders of our country to do Your will to protect all life.

In Jesus' name I pray.

Amen

This blog is growing out of a challenge I recently received. I was told I needed to state my case, show evidence, etc. Okay! Challenge accepted so hang tight as I gather my evidence, stories, etc that support why I feel the way I do and why I am standing here telling the world....


I am pro-life!