Tuesday, December 15, 2015

When holidays hurt

'tis the season to be jolly....but sometimes that is easier said than done when you are carrying pains that are so great that you can feel your heart breaking...over and over again.

This past weekend I found myself falling down the hole of despair to a very dark pit of hopelessness and as I called out for help, a hug, to be cared for if only for 5 minutes, to not be criticized or have to hear hurtful words, to just be told I am sorry you are hurting but I found myself alone sobbing and turning to God pleading for him to show me the way. As much as I dream that my husband could hold and comfort me, he just walks away annoyed with me in times like these. This is in no means a way to pass judgement on him but to tell the truth....many post-abortive moms are left alone in their suffering and honestly, it can really suck sometimes.

But in my moment of feeling hopeless and alone, God led me to a beautiful song and the courage to attend a get together of like-minded ladies. Women who understand because they too are suffering the pain of abortion. It is a very difficult wound and burden to carry because shame, fear, and rejection keep many women silent and trust me, this is too big to carry alone.

I didn't realize it until someone else said it...holidays are tough. I have always been blue, for lack of a better word, through the holidays as they leave me feeling empty and unfulfilled. It starts with my birthday at the beginning of October. People ask what they can get me and honestly, there is nothing in a box that can make me feel joyful. I want a peaceful, loving family. That is it. Nothing more. Nothing less. Just peace and to feel loved, wanted, and accepted just the way I am.

God is great and can give us what we need but not always what we want and today as I was showering I broke down in tears and realized....all I want is my baby back. I want to hold that precious child. I wish I could have been strong like Mary and accepted my unexpected pregnancy with grace. I am in awe of her strength and courage and love that Joseph stepped in and supported her and cared for that precious baby. How loving is that? Wouldn't we all love that? To have someone stand by us through the rough and good times. I would but I fear the scars of abortion make it hard for me, and other women, to be trusting and feel lovable enough to accept the olive branch of comfort. Abortions make relationships tough.

If our wounds were more acceptable to talk about perhaps we would all be able to develop a better healing network and support system but there are places you can go for help. Don't be discouraged. There is help but in all reality, I feel the wound is so severe that it will always ache and perhaps by feeling my heart break so deeply today when I realized all I want is my baby back will help me take one more baby step forward on my personal path of healing.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Moved by Mercy

Abortion kills. Abortion hurts and post-abortive moms feel this hurt deeper than anyone would want you to know. Abortion being a choice and a woman's right is all a lie but trust me, there is a way to find peace after abortion. God is there for you. He loves you. He will extend mercy to you if you let him. And everytime I hear this song I remember how broken I felt, how lost and unlovable I felt, how I wanted to feel better and could never feel better until....I accepted God and His ways. He is healing me each and every day.

Dear God, 

Thank you for saving me and giving me the courage to speak up against abortion and to tell the true story --- abortion is destructive. It kills and the woman suffer. Many times, men suffer too. May all those in pain turn to you, ask your forgiveness, and feel the mercy you have extended to me. I pray to the unborn children, that they forgive us and pray for us as many pro-life advocates fight to end abortion and make all realize, life at all stages matter. 

In Jesus' name I pray,

Friday, November 13, 2015

If I could travel in time

With the 30th anniversary of Back to the Future time travel has been in the news and while listening to Immaculate Heart Radio the question was tossed out -- What would you do if you could travel in time?

My immediate response was my eyes welling up with tears, my heart rate escalating, my breathing rate increasing, as I instantly thought --- I would go back in time and stop myself from making the worst decision ever. I would NOT have an abortion and I cried for my precious child in Heaven and dreamed of holding her in my arms and hearing her laugh and then I hit a brick wall. CRASH. BANG.

All the imagined happiness was sucked right back out of me because time travel comes at a cost, doesn't it? There is the whole space time continuum. What if I went back and saved one child only to lose another? How on Earth could I live with that? And that, my dear, is the destructive force of abortion. There is no getting out of the despair and harm it causes. Okay, that isn't entirely true.

With God's healing grace I feel His forgiveness and am moving on in life serving Him better but those scars of abortion will NEVER be completely gone and forgotten. It will forever torment me because you can't completely erase the slate and memories. Forgiveness takes time in the human world. And once again, I told my precious child how sorry I was, asked for her prayers, and told her one day, by God's mercy, I would see her in Heaven. I dried my eyes and moved forward in life thanking God I did not have a time machine to mess things up again with.

Fast forward a few days and the question was broke back up on the radio on a day I just learned my cousin's wife had their baby and something bad happened and the baby is in NICU. Yes, give me that time machine! I will go back just a few hours to warn them and the doctors that something will happen and to be prepared. That would be okay, right? I would be saving a life, right?

Fast forward a few days again and I realized, no, I don't want a time machine. God knows what He is doing and I need to stop thinking that I know better. Baby is slowly getting stronger and showing the strength of prayers and God's love. His life has a purpose and me messing with events would mess things up again in ways I will never understand. You see, God's ways and thoughts are indeed higher than own our and out of the ashes of despair, He will create grandness.

And this includes creating grandness out of the ashes of despair and messes we can create on Earth. Oh what a loving Father he is to stand by our sides, calling us back, putting us down when we are flailing and kicking, and waiting to lovingly hold us in His awesome embrace.

God forgives and His mercy is GREAT! Those abortion scars are ever present but they are no longer bleeding non-stop and yes, sometimes life can tug at the edges and cause them to bleed but thank you God, I am not picking at those wounds as much anymore causing them to bleed. Life may snag them but I do not need to pick at them. I am learning to accept God's love and forgiveness and to forgive and love myself again. I am learning that I am a beloved daughter of God. I am learning I am able to do good and am not to be judged by my past. We all have mistakes in our pasts. Let us not have them define us but let's choose to be a better example of God's grace, love, and mercy every single day.

Monday, October 26, 2015

To our angels in Heaven

Our precious gems can be lost in many ways -- miscarriage, abortion, illness, injury, accident -- all are untimely deaths because every parent wants to outlive their children. How could you not?

But sometimes when under times of stress a woman can make a decision that ends that precious soul's life and trust me, I am not here to blame you or judge you. I know the pain and understand. I know the self-hate, guilt, and the depth of your despair. There is hope beyond all of that. You can be forgiven and you can move on to live your life better, lighter, and happier. You can pray to your angel in Heaven, tell them how sorry you are, and ask for their prayers for you. They will pray for you.

And this post today was inspired from this sweet lullaby. What a wonderful lullaby and just read it, close your eyes, and envision your precious angel returning the love I know you have for her. She will pray for you and watch over you.

Angels watch over my baby,
Grant her a lifetime of your care
So that even when I can not be with her
I'll know you will always be there.

Angels watch over my baby,
Grant her a lifetime of your love
So that even when my eyes are closed
I'll know that you watch over from above.

Angels watch over my baby,
Bless every eyelash and curl.
For there is no one on earth any dearer
to me than my little baby girl.

~ From the lullaby, “Angels Watch Over My Baby”

Friday, October 23, 2015

Julie's Story: Post-abortive healing

Welcome and thank you for stopping by. Today I stumbled upon an article that tells Julie's story and how Pope Francis' visit helped her begin the process of healing from abortions. Her story gave me chills and brought me to tears because I can feel her pain, her despair, and the wonderful feeling of weight being lifted off her shoulders as she found love, comfort, and forgiveness from God through the Catholic Church.

I hope you take the time to read Julie's story and find comfort in hearing from her that there is healing and if you too are suffering from the wounds of abortion, you are not alone. Many women report the same feelings and frustrations that they were not adequately informed of the negative impacts abortion can have on their emotional lives and future relationships. You are not alone and help is available.

I pray you are guided along your own healing journey and find the courage to speak up, tell you story, and make a difference. You are forever loved by God and I hold you in my prayers each and every day. Please pray for me too.

Have a blessed day.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

#shoutyourabortion - a #prolife perspective

I opened facebook today and made the fatal mistake on clicking on #shoutyourabortion to see what all this was about. What was the big trending thing? When I saw that it was to praise abortion and tell wonderful stories my heart sunk. When I saw all the hateful and judgmental comments made towards those who have had an abortion, my heart broke.

I just wanted to yell what is wrong with society that is all for pro-choice and then turns around and throws stones at those who have made that choice...albeit the worst choice ever. But trust me, I am not judging anyone. I am up there on that slave trading block right beside you. Yes, you. All of us are on that block. We are that woman in the midst of her peers being brought to Jesus by the community shouting "JUDGE HER!"

I feel the pain of those who have made bad choices but I have also felt God's loving grace and have found the courage to speak the truth. I am no longer afraid of vengeful words and know nothing anyone says can be worse than what I have said to myself and I have God with me.

I understand the pain, fear, and self-hate.

So instead of turning to typed battles on facebook I prayed and those prayers led me to this post...to speak the truth.

To those who say that women who have abortions are uneducated I say you are wrong. I graduated high school with honors. I graduated college Magna Cum Laude and made it into the Who's Who in Colleges book. After the worst decision in my life I went on to get a Master's in Business Administration and God blessed me with my husband and my daughter.

To those who say women who have abortions should have just used birth control...I did. We were using the rhythm method and condoms. We thought we were doubly protected and I did that since I knew the father was adamentaly against babies. God's ways were stronger than our ways and if only I had the strength and courage back then to have stood strong in my faith in God I could be watching my child making a wonderful difference in this world.

The truth is, I turned my back on God and even though He continued to bless me throughout my life, I felt it was me in control of my life. I believed the lies of Pro-Choice and supported Pro-Choice longer than I should have because for many years I felt I had to stay on their side, even though I knew it was wrong, because I was one of them. I had an abortion. I believed so many lies. Satan had a good hold on my life. I believed I would lose my job if I stayed pregnant. I believed I would be alone with child and no insurance. I believed no one would be there for me. I believed my family would judge me for getting pregnant as my first marriage was falling apart. I feared judgment only to turn from one bad situation to a worse. You know, the choice that was "better" for me and my child. Lies.

But now I walk with God and know I will be judged non-stop every single day of my life by those who do not agree with me but I find comfort in knowing God is with me. I know He wants me to take the worst day of my life, the lowest point in my life, my darkest pit of despair and turn it into something good.

I pray for those post abortive moms who haven't found God and His forgiveness yet. What damage is all this doing to them? When will people stop throwing stones and start walking with Jesus?

I stand before you saying I will not judge you. I work with a volunteer who is very pro-choice and supports Planned Parenthood completely. I pray for her almost every single day. I extend love and grace to her because in all reality, it is through love and grace that I was saved. I am in no position to judge. None of us are. That is God's job and I leave it firmly in His loving, merciful, and capable hands.

Dear God,

I pray for America. I pray that those in support of abortion sees the damage it does to so many people. I pray that they change their ways and turn to you. I pray for all those hurt by abortion, that they turn to you for forgiveness and feel your healing grace. For those facing unexpected pregnancies, I pray they have the strength to choose life and that more and more post-abortive moms tell their stories. It is through the truth that we will be saved.

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Friday, September 18, 2015

House Votes to De-Fund Planned Parenthood

When I saw this article that the House voted to De-Fund Planned Parenthood on facebook today I instantly got emotional....teary-eyed emotional. All I could think was praise God for this small step in the right direction. I honestly feel by de-funding Planned Parenthood we are starting on the path to address abortion and the lies that have surrounded this choice for years. Yes, I do believe Roe vs Wade should be overturned. I believe we have made mistakes and that it is time to make them right.

But in all of this, I am not pointing the finger or blaming anyone. Instead, I am praying for those impacted by abortion. I pray they find peace, forgiveness, and feel the grace of God's love and mercy. I pray they find the strength to stand up and tell their story. I pray they see that past mistakes do not define us. They can be reborn, renewed, and strengthened again in God. We all can.

I pray for those who support abortion and see it as a women's right. I pray they realize that giving women the "right" to kill their children is not in the best interest of the women. I pray that they turn to God and refocus their efforts to support women in ways that truly do support women, their life, and the lives of their children.

I pray for the United States and that we elect true leaders who will put the needs of the people at the top of their list and truly stand up and fight to protect all of our citizens, even the unborn.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

The victims of abortion - try a fair case

The unborn child isn't the only victim of abortion, the mom also suffers. I have heard and read so many stories that mid-procedure, right after, or even years later the mom realizes that what she did was wrong. That the unborn was indeed a baby. That the child's life mattered and was ended out of perceived convenience or the ideal of a better life for the child. But in all reality, no life is not better than life. Abortion is murder.

We are surrounded by propaganda. It is the women's choice. If she chose to abort, it is not murder but I ask, what about late term abortions? What about the child that is indeed born before being "aborted"? Isn't this murder? Isn't murder wrong? I even blatantly asked someone if murder was wrong and the answer left me dumbfounded....depends. Huh? The responder then tried to say it was the woman's choice so a late-term abortion that ended life after birth was dare I say it...okay. Granted he didn't say it was okay but kept saying it was the mom's choice.

Okay, when does this right to choose end? At what point is murder wrong?

Add to that the pin I saw just the other day, "If you don't believe in abortion, don't have one." Okay, seems simplistic enough but let's go back to those women I mentioned before. The ones where the proverbial light bulb went off that hey, abortion is wrong. Abortion is murder. This she made the worse choice ever and will regret it forever. Am I going to stand by silent and say nothing? No way! I love everyone too much to not care.

Abortion is wrong and I want to be that voice bringing the truth out there. Don't see things my way? Okay but at least have enough decency to look at the evidence presented in the videos about Planned Parenthood. Look at who Planned Parenthood supports with awards or campaign funding and ask yourself, is this a fair trial of evidence? Is it being presented to us in an unbiased manner? Are you being misled and lied to? Don't you want to be able to make your own decision and have the right to believe what you believe?

I do. So play along with me for a minute. Let's envision this story as a court case. Planned Parenthood can be replaced Murder Suspect A. Abortion is Murder Victim B. Forget we are talking about abortion and a large corporation and look at things this way.

Murder Suspect A enters the trial court on charges of murdering Murder Victim B. There are 12 jurors and some of them are on the payroll of Murder Suspect A's lawyer. Murder Victim B's lawyer presents his evidence...video evidence. Some of the jurors decide to not view the video. They leave the courtroom. Later they enter the jury room and decide there wasn't enough evidence to convict Murder Suspect A. Murder Suspect A is found not guilty and released back into the community.

What would your thoughts be on this trial? Would you be okay that the lawyer for the murder suspect was paying the jurors? Would you be okay that the jurors didn't all review the evidence being presented? If you were the judge, would you allow this to happen? If you were in the community, would you be happy that the suspect was released? If you were family of the murder victim, would you feel that justice was done?

But that is what is happening with Planned Parenthood. Senators have received campaign funds from Planned Parenthood. Journalists receive awards and support from Planned Parenthood. Not all the senators viewed the Planned Parenthood videos before voting not to defund Planned Parenthood. You are not hearing this on many news networks. The news you are receiving is in some ways being censored. Money talks....or should I say, money stops the talk. Are you okay with this?

I'm not. I am angry. My heart goes out to the post-abortive moms who are hearing or seeing these terrible videos and all the old wounds are being torn open. They are hurting beyond belief. The unborn are crying out to be saved. Don't tell me it is okay to choose murder. Don't tell me it is a women's right. Don't tell me that Planned Parenthood does so much good and that I should overlook this horror. It is NOT okay.

Dear God,

We are walking through dark times. Be with us. Please extend your healing grace to those suffering from abortion. May your message go out to those who still support abortion - may they change their ways and feel your healing grace. I pray for the unborn that they are kept safe. I pray those with unexpected pregnancies have the strength to choose life. I pray that our angels in heaven who were aborted continue to pray for us. I pray those who you call to do your work to take a stand against abortion - may they feel your strength and continue to do your work.

In Jesus' name I pray,

Planned Parenthood Campaign Finance
Planned Parenthood Spending
Democrats Who Blocked Bill to Defund Planned Parenthood Admit They Haven't Watched Undercover Videos

Monday, August 24, 2015

Abortions can strain or ruin relationships

My marriage is struggling. It is a difficult marriage. I am not writing this to be cruel or to air dirty laundry but to bring awareness on how abortion has negative everlasting impacts. Impacts that are clouded over in the "womens' rights" and "it's her body" dialogue. Yes, women do have rights. The right to know the FULL truth, not the edited mainstream view that makes it sound like you are harming women by standing up and saying abortion is wrong.

First, let is be known I got involved with my husband years after my abortion and in some ways, he was my saving grace and helped me to begin to love myself again. He made me feel special. He listened to me. I felt the walls around my heart melting and felt loved unconditionally until....things changed. Or perhaps they didn't.

Love is a funny thing. In the beginning it is all rose-colored and happy but eventually the walls do come down fully and you are standing there exposed with all your insecurities, weaknesses, and regrets in plain sight. And over time, words stated in anger or frustration can linger and grow into a pestilent waste. Through loving communication and determination this doesn't have to be the case but that is the problem. Abortion hurts. Abortion can damage healthy communication.

Abortion can impact ALL relationships - parental, spouse, that with siblings, children, etc. for years to come. 40-75% of marriages end after abortion due to the breakdown of intimacy and trust. The woman's feelings of anger, guilt, depression, and/or being let down by her partner can negatively impact communication and sexual function. This can lead to more conflict and less trust in a relationship. The suppression of mourning can do more harm than good and the woman may have a hard time bonding with children later in life or bond more tightly to make-up for the lost child. (oh how I understand that second part!) Let's not even get into how abortion can impact surviving children. They too have a burden to carry.

Abortion is traumatic and yes, post-abortive moms can suffer from post traumatic stress syndrome. Symptoms a woman may face are guilt, anxiety, numbness, depression, flashbacks, and/or suicidal thoughts.

Back to my marriage. Even though my husband isn't the partner who let me down I feel being let down by a male has set me up to believe that I will always be let down by males. Add to it my feelings of guilt and inadequacy and desire to feel loved and good and my poor husband has high standards to live up to. Standards too high for any human. I realize this weakness and fault of mine and try to be less needy and more giving but sometimes life happens, the scars get ripped open, and getting through the day in one piece is enough of a challenge.

Case in point. The Planned Parenthood videos.

Thank God my husband and I got our marriage validated and I felt being on the right path with God would help us overcome the hurt in our marriage. I would do things God's way and our relationship could start healing but I wasn't prepared for Planned Parenthood. I wasn't prepared for past scars to be ripped open and to feel so much agony and pain. I wasn't prepare to wrap my brain around babies being dismantled and sold piece by piece. I wasn't prepared to comprehend how on earth someone can cut into a moving child to harvest that precious brain. I wanted to yell from the mountaintops that all of this was wrong. I was baffled how people were grumbling over the little stuff in life when all of this was happening. I was suffering and getting annoyed and reaching out to dear hubby for love and understanding, a reassuring hug, some compassion but communication flop. He saw a needy, depressed wife, and questioned if God was good and probably felt utterly helpless (just my thoughts on how he felt). Logically I realized this but I wonder how we will move beyond the years of hurt, create healthy communication, and discover the rosier side of life.

He is carrying the burden of my scars along with me and that can make me feel equally guilty. I can't go back and undue the wrong but I can push forward and stand up against abortion. I will no longer let guilt and shame force me to be silent. I will take the challenges in life, even the ones my husband tosses at me, and grow from them. After all, it was his challenge to me to support my beliefs that spurred me to start this blog. I will stand up and say abortion is wrong, abortion hurts, abortion kills.

Dear God,

The world is hurting and needs your healing grace. I pray all those hurt by abortion feel your loving forgiveness and find the courage to be silent no more. I pray all those performing or supporting abortions are able to open their hearts, change their ways, and protect our young from harm. I pray those considering abortion can learn from my pain and realize whatever they fear pales in comparison to the damage of abortion. I pray they choose life.  I pray our country's leaders find your strength in them so that they can stand up for our nation and guide us along a path of growth and healing that recognizes that ALL lives matter.

In Jesus' name I pray,

Abortion and Interpersonal Relationships
Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

An open letter to those considering abortion

My dearest child,

I am so glad you are here reading this. That gives me hope. Hope that your mind is still open and hope that your heart will lead you to choosing life.

I know for many finding out they are pregnant is a joy-filled moment but we both know (you and I) that feeling joy isn't always the case. As soon as you find out you are pregnant you can be filled with worry, fear, anguish, and a host of other not-so-good feelings. That is okay darling. It is okay to be scared but please, don't make a decision based on fear and please don't be forced into making the choice to have an abortion by someone else. The rhetoric that you can choose, that it is your right, and that it can make your life better is all wrong. Darling, an abortion is traumatic and anything you fear right now pales in comparison to the devastation abortion can have on your life.

I get it. You might be thinking I can't be a mom. I don't or won't have a job. I don't or won't have insurance. I don't or won't have anyone to help me. I can't do this. But darling, you can. Have faith. That little baby in you is a blessing even if you don't see it right now. It may not be a blessing you raise into adulthood. It could be the blessing you give to another couple yearning to have a child so badly, praying for the day they can adopt and hug an innocent life, and willing to help you out.

I get it. Going through an unwanted pregnancy and perhaps telling your parents if you are a minor can be scary. There are loved ones all around you wanting to help you. Go to them. Reach out. It is okay to be vulnerable because God will be there with you. You are not alone and never will be alone.

I get it. I don't know your story. You may be thinking that right now. Your problems and worries seem bigger than anything I am referring to. You are thinking, nope, there is no hope. I have no help but darling, you do. I am not promising an easy road. I am not promising no hiccups or speed bumps or roadblocks. If only I could wave a magic wand and make it all perfectly peaceful for you, I would. But I am telling you this....at the end of the day when all is said and done, you will feel better for choosing life over choosing abortion. Choosing not to kill is always better. You will sleep better. You will live better. You will be happier. Yes, if you give your baby up for adoption you may miss that child and yearn for him or her. But I am blessed to be able to talk to my birth mom. We have that now. Abortion is final. No going back. Please, choose life.

Dear God,

My thoughts and prayers go out to the precious soul reading this letter right now. I understand she may be contemplating abortion. Please let her find your strength within her, guide her to the help she needs in order to choose life. May she feel your comfort and love.

In Jesus' name I pray.


Pregnant and need help? Some places you can go...
Your local church
Silent No More
Maggie's Place

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Yes, I believe Roe vs Wade should be overturned

Let me open this post with a prayer as I know that some post abortive mothers may have a hard time reading this. My heart goes out to you.

Dear God, 

Please forgive us all. I pray that all unborn babies are kept safe, that the aborted babies in Heaven forgive us and pray for us, and that all those impacted by abortion feel Your healing grace. God, I give myself to You to do Your work. Please, guide me and help me to quiet my mind so I can hear Your word. 

In Jesus' name I pray,


I was asked the other day if I felt Roe vs Wade should be overturned. Yes. I do.

Roe vs Wade (1973) ruled a state law banning abortions except to save the life of the mother unconstitutional. The states were not to outlaw or regulate any aspect of abortion. You can read more about the ruling HERE.

If you look back on the history of our planet I think you will recognize that there are been many laws and rulings that just weren't or aren't right or just. Roe vs Wade is one of them. I know the Supreme Court ruled 7:2 but in all reality, they made a mistake. It it isn't the first one in our history. Here are some other things that were not right or just that have changed over time. Women weren't allowed to vote. Blacks were slaves. Blacks couldn't vote. Blacks were segregated. I know you may be thinking that true, but the legal things made these mistakes better. Isn't Roe vs Wade the same? It gave women their rights? Nope. Giving a women the right to commit murder isn't right and I hate to break it to you, abortion is murder. Don't try to sugarcoat it. Face the truth. It is wrong. Abortion should be made illegal. Period.

But what about rape or incest? My heart goes out to the women who are victims of rape or incest regardless of whether or not they get pregnant. What a burden they have to carry. But I ask you this -- is it in their best interest to add a burden on top of that? Why suffer the trauma of rape or incest only to add on the trauma of abortion? These women need better care and support from us. Why not rally and get support groups for these women, wrap them in our love, children can be adopted, and at the end of it all...they will know through all their suffering they gave a child to a couple who truly wanted one.

What if the mother's life is at risk? I say leave this to the mother, the father, the doctors, and her spiritual leaders. As a pro life advocate and Catholic, I value ALL life -- the baby's and the mother's. I don't think there is a one size fits all answer to this. I think of those who have had limbs amputated, etc. Those decisions were made from a medical perspective but I feel this one needs to add in the spiritual perspective too. But saying abortion is legal for all because the mom's life can be at risk someday seems foolish to me. Remember, before Roe vs Wade a woman could have an abortion to save her life. This didn't change because of Roe vs Wade. Roe vs Wade should be overturned.

Still not convinced? What about Hitler and the Holocaust? In Hitler's vision to unite Germany he envisioned all Jews as the enemy and in 1935 the Nuremberg Laws were passed. You know how that story ends but look, here are laws enacted that weren't right or just and guess what? We stood up against them and made a change.You can read more about Hitler HERE.

Join me in standing up for human rights....all human rights...regardless of age, race, born or unborn. ALL life matters.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

The emotional side of abortion

It what appears a blink of an eye post abortive woman can change drastically. Some feel the devastation immediately, some later, but in all reality, the devastation is there whether or not they are ready or able to see it.

There are so many levels of hurt but today I want to focus on some of the emotional wounds.

Below are a list of feelings that may be felt. Please note, these emotions are listed in no particular order.
  • Emptiness
  • Depression
  • Lack of self worth
  • Shame
  • Fear of speaking up
  • Fear of being judged
  • Loss of spiritual connection
  • Loss of purpose/will to live
  • Guilt
  • Closed heart - unable to be intimate or trust others
  • Anger
  • Condemnation
  • Regret
  • Weakness
  • Betrayal 

If you are feeling any one of these emotions, or others, trust me, you are not alone. There is help. You can find joy again in life. You are loved and worthy.

Hail Mary, full of grace, our Lord be with thee. Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Friday, August 7, 2015

An open letter to post-abortive moms

My dearest darling,

First, I want to thank you for being here reading this letter. That took a lot of strength and courage on your part. You may not feel healed or strong but you are on the right path.

Second, I want you to know many of the things you feel in your life may be linked back to the abortion. I am not saying this to make you feel bad. Trust me, you feel bad enough. You don't need to feel worse. I say it to give you hope. You are not alone and there are explanations, answers, and healing but I will get into all those nitty, gritty details another day.  Today is about telling you that you are not alone and there are people...lots of them...who care and want to help you.

Third, help is out there. I will list some options for you at the end of this note.

Fourth, it is time to forgive yourself and heal. God loves you and is waiting to wrap you in His healing grace. You don't feel close to God? That is okay. He still loves you and is waiting to forgive you. You already made amends with God and expressed your repentance? That is great! Now it gets hard...you need to forgive yourself. Yes, that is the harder part as we are so tough on ourselves but look at it this way --- if God can forgive us who are we to say we can't forgive ourselves?

And as promised, here are some places you can go to for help:

Rachel's Vineyard: Here you can find a focused weekend retreat where you are surrounded by those who care and understand. It is Catholic based but you do not need to be Catholic to attend. If you have the chance to get away from your daily grind for a weekend to focus on yourself I would strongly recommend this.

Project Rachel: This is a great resource for healing yourself and even provides tips for talking to someone who has had an abortion. It is a great resource for more information, prayers, support, etc. Check it out.

Silent No More: Head here to take a stand and be silent no more even if it is just by beginning to read testimonies from others who have suffered abortion. You have the chance to find healing, tell your story, find a resource for men and abortion (yes, they suffer too), and it has a special segment for those who are pregnant and scared. Darling, if that is you please, check out the site, turn to someone for help, and say yes to life. Read the stories of grief and pain after abortion and learn from that loss.

Thank you again for stopping by and reading this. You are strong, courageous, and loved. I will pray for you, please pray for me.

God bless you.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Planned Parenthood - I am angry

Let me introduce myself. I am pro-life but wasn't always so. I fell for the lies that women had a choice to make decisions for their betterment but trust me, abortion is not a choice that improves your life. It is destructive almost beyond repair and I am saying almost only because by God's grace healing can be felt and He is working in my life to give me the courage to speak my mind. Yes, I am a God-loving, pro-life, Catholic woman that refuses to be silent anymore (this website may be of use to some of you). I will no longer just be mad about the lies but will stand up and say something.

The videos coming out about Planned Parenthood made me physically sick. I wondered how I didn't throw up many times as my heart was crushing from pain and tears running down my cheeks but for the most part, the world was silent. I could have red puffy eyes and the world was silent. No one wants to face pain or horror but in all reality, sometimes we need to face it as it represents the truth.

I am furious beyond belief that it was acceptable that Congress could vote whether to keep funding or defund Planned Parenthood WITHOUT every Senator watching the videos. Can you imagine the outcry if there was a murder trial and some of the jury didn't see the evidence being presented? We wouldn't stand for that. We wouldn't. Why is this acceptable? They are voting on something that impacts this entire country but can avoid looking at the evidence being presented? A jury must see the presented evidence and decides whether or not to accept the evidence. Why not Congress?

But through all this anger one thing keeps coming back to me and that is my prayers for those affected by abortion. This could be tearing them apart and I want to wrap all those hurting moms in my arms and give them a huge virtual hug and let them know they are loved. They can find healing and forgiveness. There is life after abortion that is worth living. The bad can be turned into good. Don't despair or hate yourself. You are loved from the time you were conceived and will be every moment of your life and beyond.

Dear God, 

Please protect and look after our unborn children, let those impacted by abortion feel Your healing grace, and heal this country. Guide us and the leaders of our country to do Your will to protect all life.

In Jesus' name I pray.


This blog is growing out of a challenge I recently received. I was told I needed to state my case, show evidence, etc. Okay! Challenge accepted so hang tight as I gather my evidence, stories, etc that support why I feel the way I do and why I am standing here telling the world....

I am pro-life!